12 days

until I get to babysit my babe of a little sister for 3 months, and hopefully get her to say "sissy is my favorite" :p

look at that little face!!! counting down the seconds until I can tell you all so much more about e-v and how much she's growing up :)

more soon,
Savana

Preparing for another snow storm tomorrow..

More snow!? is that even possible.. apparently it is. I can now see why my mom and sister fled to California, so that they didn't have to endure weather like this!! Hopefully I won't have to for much longer either.. In my last post I talked about how badly I want to get to California and spend time with my sister, and I have a trip planned for my birthday in May, but my mom struck me an offer that was hard to resist. She asked me if I wanted to come out there until May and help by watching e-v while everyone is at work. I told her I would think about it, because even if it is just a few months it will be hard to be away from Remi (insert oohs aahs and eyerolls :p). My mother has done so much for me, and I want to dedicate this post to her, I just didn't want to give it away in the title ;) Here's a essay I wrote about her and submitted in my english 12 honors class, and to the admissions at URI last year:


" Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

Throughout my life, there has always been one person who I have looked up to and gone to for advice; my mom.  She has been there for me through thick and thin, helping me with education, love, and everything else I have come across through my years in high school.  No matter what mistakes I have made, she has continuously shown me nothing but patience and kindness.  She has taught me how to be a better person, not through punishment, but through her actions and kind words.  Not only is she my mother, but she is also my best friend.

When I was in first grade, my father passed away.  Our family was already low on money, and after that we were even worse off.  My mom had already been working several shifts at two jobs, but now realized that for us to keep food on the table she would need the education that she had previously decided not to get after high school.  She found that without a college degree, it was hard for a struggling woman to get a job that would lead us to a better life.  With the little money that we had, she decided on a degree in Web Design at New England Tech, and applied.  She was accepted, and after four years of hard work and determination, she landed a job at American Power Conversion Corporation, and has worked there ever since.  Slowly she began to move up the corporate ladder, becoming more successful.  

Not only did my mom work two jobs, raise me, and attend classes daily, she also made sure that she had enough time to help me with anything I was troubled with.  No matter how busy she was with homework for her classes, or with studying for an exam, she would always make sure that my grades were okay, and would help to teach me things I was struggling with.  My mom always gave me the things that I needed, and more.  If there was a time when I was a child that I really wanted something, no matter how low we were on money she would make sure that I had it, because my happiness was the most important thing to her.  As I grew older she made sure she had time to talk to me about problems with relationships, or anything that I was confused about.  She would always give me advice about the important things in life, and be sure to relate it back to her life and how it changed who she is.  The things that I have chosen to do in my life are a product of my mother’s influence.  She has made me a positive thinker, a person that people look up to, a great student.  There has never been a time that I doubted that my mother brought anything but good into my life.

When I was younger, I didn't really appreciate all the things that were being done for me by my mom.  I saw them being done, but I thought that that was how all families were.  As I grew older I began to understand and respect the things that she did for me.  I know that my mom will remain the most important and influential person in my life, because without her and all the things she has taught me along the way, I would not be the person I am today.  Though my father’s death was one of the worst experiences I have ever gone through, it matured me a lot faster than other children my age.  It showed me that I had to appreciate the things around me, because they will not be around forever.  My mom has educated me in ways that she could not even begin to understand; she gave me hope for a better future, and gave me love when I needed it the most.  I know that I can be a successful person because my mom has shown me the way."

I couldn't be more proud to be from this family. I have the greatest mom I could have ever hoped for, I have the coolest stepdad (not many people can say that!) and they have given me the person I am most proud of, my baby sister. My mom and I have a bond that is indescribable. A lot of people I know don't get along with their parents, and I couldn't be more thankful that we don't have that issue. I can't ever imagine fighting with my mom or not wanting to talk to her and listen to her advice, I appreciate her in ways that I can't describe with words (which is rare, I'm pretty good with them :p) and I just love her so, so much.

She sacrificed so much to try and give me a "normal" childhood, so that I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. She worked harder than anyone I know for the things that we have, always without one word of complaint and never once asking anyone for help.

So the answer is yes, mom. I would love nothing more than to come out to California and spend a few months with you guys, to watch e-v. You have done so much for me, and I have so much to be thankful for. Any time you need me to help, you can count on it; because that's something you've shown me all along. 

More soon, 

Savana

I promised myself

last time I wrote that I would blog more. That I wouldn't neglect this, but I have. I've been trying to figure myself and what I want out, and it's taken a toll on my blogging and for that I am sorry. It was so easy to get through the first year, talking about everything from finding out that my mom was pregnant up to her first birthday, photoshoot, holidays.. all the way to the point where my mom, step dad and sister moved, which I talked about a few posts back. It's so easy to share the pictures, but it's so hard at the same time. Wishing that I was the one there taking them, living the moments with her, watching her grow up. But sometimes, that's not what life allows, and I'm hoping to change that soon. I want to talk about my visit to California, and share some thoughts. The last time I had seen e-v, she was crawling and standing occasionally, but when holding onto things. She wasn't walking, and she was saying few words. Her hair was long enough to fit into a little ponytail, she was still a baby to me. A year went by before I finally got the chance to go out to Cali and see everyone that I had missed so much. I was so nervous.. people had filled my head with thoughts like "do you think e-v will even remember you? Last time you saw her and was 1 and a half and now she's Almost 2 and a half.. that's a long time to go without knowing someone" It killed me every time someone uttered that phrase to me. It wasn't even something that had crossed my mind, but it had taken a hold of me and honestly frightened me. The months leading up to the trip all I could think is what if they're right? What if I go out there and she doesn't even remember me? What if she looks at me like I'm a stranger instead of her sissy? What if I want to hold her and she cries because she doesn't know who I am? But time passed by as it always does, and it was the morning of the flight. I was excited, I was scared, I was happy, I can't even describe all of the things that I felt boarding that plane and waiting for take off. I had to try and force myself to sleep, I hadn't been on a plane in a while and the anxiety was getting the best of me. Finally my boyfriend Remi and I landed in Chicago, where we immediately had to board the other plane (of course I found a spare second to purchase some magazines, as I had already finished the book I brought). All I could think of was how close we were! In just a few hours, I'd be living a completely different life than the one we had just left behind in Rhode Island, even if it was only for a few days. We landed and arrived in the airport, where I didn't see anyone.. I was confused, but as we kept walking I realized that airport rules had changed and there was probably a waiting area farther away from where you board. We  followed the signs that led to an escalator. As we descended, I saw them there!! The first thought I had was wow they are so tan.. I'm jealous! Followed by complete happiness! I ran up and hugged everyone and we made our way to the luggage pick up (which we left to the men), while my mom and I hugged some more and took pictures with us and e-v. Then we had the guys take even more pictures of the girls and then my mom had me hold e-v. She was a lot heavier than I remembered! I didn't realize how much children change in just a year, and that was what made me realize. Then we got into the car, went to in and out (which was delicious) and started our journey of sightseeing. We went everywhere (or so it seemed) and the whole time I couldn't believe I had even doubted that my sister would remember me. She was smiling at me and touching my nose, showing me how smart she was. When I reached for her she would put her arms up so I could hold her. I couldn't believe how much she had grown and changed; her hair was longer than mine, and she was walking!! She was more active while watching barney, mimicking the children's moves and dances instead of just watching like she used to. She was amazing. She had changed from a baby to a toddler, and my regret was not being there to see it. I really want to move out there within the year, that's one of my New Year's goals. It's something that I need to do for myself, because I know if not I'm only going to have regret. I want to be the one in the sunshine taking her to the park and uploading pictures for you guys to see, not just mooching them off of my mom to second hand show you :( On the bright side, we are planning a visit for my birthday in May, so I'm looking forward to that immensely!! :) Now on to some of my favorite pictures from the best vacation:

First day there, looking .. not as tan as everyone else

first time at in and out!

wrapping up the first day, overlooking LA

up bright and early thanks to Jesse, but it was worth it! 

There were dolphins playing in the water! 

The tan setting in from day 1 :)

The morning of the Buddy Walk!

Buddy walk completed; time for lunch!

Nose!

I want to touch your nose now!

Dinner on the last night

Saying our goodbyes :(

More soon,
Savana

New year

E-v, I am so sorry for neglecting this blog. Life just pulls you in other directions sometimes, and you have to redirect your focus for a little while. But I'm back to share something incredible with you! I hope you'll be proud :) It is January 2011, which means that the "to love the unloved" launch is official! There was the launch post, the interview with a family who has adopted a child with special needs post, and now, there is the LOGO!! post! Why am I SOOO excited about this you may wonder, well e-v, the logo is YOU!! How cool is that!?

Before:

And After!:

I want to throw a thank you out to Emily Dillon, who is a great friend of mine, and the designer of this logo! Contact her for all of your graphic design needs, she's amazing, as you can see! The wings are made to look like the down syndrome butterfly, how cool is that!? 

So you see e-v, I may not write in here as often as I'd like to, but when there is a hiatus, it's because I'm doing something amazing, that usually includes you ;) I hope you like it!! Kisses and hugs from your sissy! <3

More soon,

Savana