The hardest part

I was filled with such excitement and joy to find out that my sister was healthy and finally here. Being the impatient italian girl that I am, I wanted to see her right away; the pictures from the camera weren't enough for me! When I got to finally see her, it definitely wasn't what I expected. I had always had the image of mother's laying in their hospital beds with their babies at their side, but e-v was born with some fluid in her lungs and they had to run tests so off they took her to an incubator. I was so nervous walking in there to see her. It was such a lengthy procedure making sure your hands were scrubbed to perfection, not touching certain things. Here I am all excited to hold my baby sister and to my surprise the closest I could get was watching her in this plastic cube. She was so chubby and cute. Being in that room made me so sad, all of the babies in there that were so small, alarms going off over their incubators. Even though I could only look at her, I wanted her to know how much I loved her. I wanted her to be able to come home. Before I knew it, visiting time was up and it was time to go back home. It felt so weird having to leave her and my mom behind at the hospital, but it was comforting to know they were in the best care. My aunt and I went up there throughout the next week as much as we could, anxiously awaiting the moment they would say she could come home. Finally, that thursday, I got a call from my mom saying I could come pick them up! I had just started driving, so I was incredibly nervous to go by myself on the highway, so I called my boyfriend Remi and up we went. This was the first time he would meet e-v, so I was beyond excited. We made it to the hospital in record time, and tried to cram 4 people and a baby seat into my moms incredibly small vw cabrio. When we got home I fell in love. I was finally able to hold her, but I was still nervous because I wasn't used to it. I quickly became a natural ;) We had to be so careful about who we let come over, always making sure everyone's hands were washed and sanitized, no traces of a cold, even just a sneeze wouldn't be chanced. Her test results came in at last and it was confirmed that she had down syndrome. To me, she was the most beautiful baby in the world. What really sticks out to me after that was doctors appointments upon doctors appointments. But in the end, two of the holes in her heart had closed up and the third was very small, everything else seemed fine, and we could finally take a minute to just relax and enjoy her. That was the best part. All of the stress we had gone through, all of the uncertainty, bettered us as a family, as people. Down syndrome wasn't something we had really heard of or thought about until e-v came to us. She opened our hearts and she opened our minds. I'll always be thankful for that.

More soon,
Savana